Overcoming Loneliness

A husband’s greatest need….is for you not to “need” him.

A husband’s greatest need….

One of the most difficult lessons I have learned in 14 short years of marriage is this-

One of the greatest gifts I can give my husband is to not “need” him.

You see, by nature we are very needy women.  Early in my life, I took great prided in my physical and emotional strength and abilities. When I turned twenty-eight, that facade of inner and outer strengthen was obliterated when I entered into a life long covenant with my husband David. The union of two saints who possessed hearts that groaned daily under the burden of sin and self,  exposed a frailty and neediness I had no idea I had become a slave to.

I needed my husband to be romantic and write notes and send flowers like he did when we were dating, in order to feel secure in our relationship and love. I needed him to come home from work on time in order to ensure my troubled heart that our children and I were the most important thing in his life. I needed him to choose spending time with me/us rather than playing games on the internet and reading articles that weren’t nearly as interesting as I though I was, in order to feel loved and cherished. I desperately needed to see him look away from sultry dressed women as they passed by and to publicly wage bloody warfare against the endless stream of immorality and porn on the internet in order to feel a sense of worth and beauty. I needed him to visibly demonstrate he was a mighty man of God by getting up early and spending time in the word and in prayer in order to rest assured our home was pleasing to God and under His spiritual protection. This “I need” list was massive and dictated my days and my nights. When these things did not happen with the frequency or to the degree I thought they should, I willingly boarded an emotional and mental roller coaster laden with endless hills of self pity, fear, jealousy, doubt, anger, withdrawal….The mood and spirit of our home was unwillingly drug behind the erratic flight of my unstable and distorted coaster called “Neediness” and “frailty.” My peace was determined solely upon my perception of “how” I thought my husband was performing in life both spiritually, emotionally, and physically.  I had no idea how destructive this “neediness” was to our marriage and my life spiritually until God mercifully broke me and then faithfully bound my soul back together by exposing the sinfulness and idolatry of my heart.

Six years into our marriage, on the outside, life seemed perfect.We had a cozy home, three beautiful children, and an uncanny absence of public turmoil or strife in our lives. Secretly I reveled in this. Hearing about the marital/relational struggles of others feed the monster of pride that steadily grew in my heart. A pride that blinded me to a smothering darkness in my life and marriage. Didn’t I deserve a perfect marriage and a perfect husband? I had done it all right, hadn’t I? I had waited 28 years for the right one. I had endured years of loneliness, disappointment, discouragement, and unfulfilled desires. David meant everything to me, but the image of a perfect life meant even more. I was willing to do or not do whatever it took to maintain the image of a perfect marriage. I buried hurts, swallowed back disappointment, and turned my head away from the things my heart screamed were off.

In one fleeting second, God humbled my proud heart with His heavy but loving hand of correction.  My heart was shattered and the facade of a perfect marriage ripped apart. I was not the perfect wife I thought myself to be. My husband was not the perfect man my pride had fashioned and placed as god in my life.  I was insecure and in my insecurity I had looked to my marriage and my husband for purpose, fulfillment, and meaning. Success was measured by the degree to which David met my needs as well as the absence of conflict and strife in our lives. My husbands happiness had been my goal because this was a measurable standard I could wear with pride. I needed my husband to be the perfect husband and father. I needed him to return to our home each evening happy and content. This is what I strove for while denying the failures and spiritual needs in my own life. It was much easier to remain silent, play the part of the perfect wife, and uphold the facade the peace than to address and conquer the spiritual darkness in our lives and in our home.

I needed David to be the perfect husband and father not because this was what was best for him but because this was what was best for me.  If he was perfect I would not hurt. If he was perfect I would not have needs unmet. If he was perfect, I could look perfect too. If I was perfect I could acquire the esteem of others.  I could dress up the outside of Jody and neglect the more painful and ugly Jody inside.

How my life changed…..

After an extremely painful trial in our marriage, I resisted seeking out Biblical counsel for myself and instead spent two years bound in a prison of fear and hurt. I didn’t know how to repair the pieces of my shattered heart but I was desperate for peace and healing. Like the stubborn child who insist on having things their own way, I did what I had always done, I placed the responsibility squarely on my husband shoulders. I decided I needed him to do a, b, and c to repair the broken pieces and bring healing to my life. I needed him to be strong, perfect, and daily reassure me I would never hurt again. This did not work because I was asking my husband to do something he  would never be capable of, perfection.

There is but one person who can accomplish what I demanded of my husband. Somewhere between single life and marriage, I placed my husband and marriage on the throne of my heart. I put a human with a sinful heart in a position only Christ could fill, demanding he play a role only God was capable of.

Sin can not produce holiness, peace can not rise from the ashes of chaos. Disease can not spawn healing. Only the God of Peace can bring peace. Only God the Righteous Judge can be, demand, and make one righteous. Only the Eternal, All Powerful, All Loving God can fill the abyss of a broken and needy heart. My needy heart needed it’s neediness to be reoriented to the one who never disappoints and never fails. It was in this moment of brokenness that God opened my eyes to the truth that my greatest need was Christ. In turn I discovered that my pursuit of fulfillment in Him this was the greatest gift I could ever give my husband and family.

You see, My husband’s greatest need was for me to “not need him”, but instead be possessed, driven, and overcome by my need for God. Our poor husbands are doomed for failure when we insist on placing them in a position they can’t measure up to. My liberation day came when I realized my peace and joy was not dependent upon my husband’s godly integrity, moral victories and spiritual growth. My healing and confidence came when I realized I could experience disappointment, failure, and pain in my marriage and life and still be “okay.” With my focus off my husband and on my own heart, sin, and needs, I found freedom, healing, and peace. A perfect marriage and husband would never bring peace and happiness, but a Jody with an upright and perfect heart toward God could experience and revel in a peace and joy unspeakable. When I could say “whom have I in heaven but Thee and there is none I desire beside thee” then peace, contentment, and joy would rain down. When my heart could echo David’s cry “My soul thirsts for you and my flesh longs for you” then I would experience a strength empowered by a Divinely given neediness, I was meant to experience daily. I was created needy so that I would daily, out of that neediness, peruse the strength of another. So that I would be driven to the throne and to the feet the the Savior who would gloriously and faithfully meet those needs.

What is your greatest need?

Perhaps you are hurting, looking at the shattered pieces of your heart and wondering how or if it is even possible to repair what has been so painfully broken. Has something been taken or withheld? Has your love been betrayed or cast aside? Please believe me when I say “beauty can rise among the ashes”, and “joy can  follow the cries of great sorrow.” Do not look at what or who has brought such pain or grief. Do not place the role of healer in their hands, this is a job they can not shoulder or fulfill.  This is the curse and product of sinful man and why he stands in such contrast with our Savior. Instead look to the only one capable of healing the broken, giving rest to the weary, bringing peace to the troubled. You need a Savior, a Redeemer, a Comforter. Yes God can transform the lives of those who have disappointed, frustrated, and wounded us but healing will never be found solely in another’s transformation but through our own.  You need Christ, not a husband. Your need the Righteous Judge, not a perfect spouse, life, marriage or family.

Jesus cry was “Come unto me and I will give rest”, “Know the truth and it will set you free….I am the truth”, “drink of the water I give..and never thirst” Let your gaze fall upon Him, let your heart rest upon Him. Set your hope and expectation upon He who never sleeps, never falters, who sees all, hears every cry, who is sufficient.

May the God of Peace fill you with peace!!!

Visit The Practice of Love for many uplifting and godly perspectives of marriage and life.

 Joining the community at Getting Down With Jesus

“Pay it Forward”: The forgotten story

I stumbled across an emotional feel-good video today while scrolling through morning Facebook updates : ) In this particular clip, friends and gftfcomplete strangers join forces to create the “Perfect day of work” for a “deserving” woman. Their targeted beneficiary was a young, hard working waitress, who had overcome much adversity and hardship. Chelsea’s day began with a thousand dollar tip, which she initially tried to refuse. Next up were tickets to Hawaii, and then an offer for employment in a field of work she loved. The “perfect day of work” ended with a brand new car and a visit from her best friend.

 

I am not ashamed to confess that as the gifts rolled in a smile grew across my face and I might have shed a few tears. It was a cool story! Every co-worker and friend that was interviewed repeated the same message “If any body deserves this, it’s Chelsea.” This young woman had faced adversity, and not only did she overcome it, she spent her free time channeling all her energy and resources towards helping others like herself. Even more amazing was the fact that she did so on the salary of an overworked and underpaid waitress.

 

Weary and straining under the emotional and physical stresses of life, unexpected and unsolicited intervention flooded in and swept her up and into a real life, happily ever after fairytale. I don’t think there is a single person who has watched or read about a story like this who hasn’t had the thought,” I wish something like that would happen to me.” To receive needed resources and even a few luxuries would be such an encouragement, not to mention the mental boost of having my life, work, and talents affirmed by those I know, love, and work with.

 

Then it struck me, I have my own story, but it is so much better than all the “pay it forward” stories flying around on Facebook and Youtube.

 

While Chelsea’s friends professed her deservedness of the perfectly planned gifts that poured in, I couldn’t help but think of how differently my life story has played out.

 

Romans 5:1-8

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith,

wehave peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,

through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace

in which we now stand.

And weboast in the hope of the glory of God.

 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings,

 because we know that suffering produces perseverance;

perseverance, character; and character, hope.

And hope does not put us to shame,

because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts

through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless,

Christ died for the ungodly.

Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person,

though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die.

 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:

While we were still sinners,

Christ died for us.

What a list! Did you catch all of them? Justified, peace, access, grace, standing, hope, glory, perseverance, character, more hope, no shame, God’s love . All of this abundant goodness with one slight difference, I deserved nothing!

rejoiceDo you see me in those verse above? Do you see yourself? Jody was powerless, ungodly, a sinner, yet grace  came down and has been poured out upon her life.

I closed facebook and turned off my phone and sat back to replay the video of another life that has been blessed. This record wasn’t documented on the internet, it was etched deeply and lovingly upon the innermost parts of my heart and mind.

My story is both appalling and beautiful. I was the source of all that was ghastly, tainted, and spoiled. One day my eyes were opened and I was reminded, I was not the author of my life story, nor the lead role. So often I have the cameras on the wrong person! Life is not in fact about me and what I deserved and have earned but rather about Him and all He has given. Still a sinner, still powerless, still undeserving, grace came down!

Within that tiny five letter word, infinite and unfathomable gifts reside and flow. They are not temporal and will never be taken away. They will never spoil, rust or corrupt. With every tick of the clock grace flows. My perfect day will not end when camera crews go home and the internet is switched off. My life story will not fade and be replaced when a new and more sensational story comes along. My perfect day will not temporarily remove me from the harsh reality of life the and sorrows and struggles each day can bring. My perfect day involves a person who gives what I need so I can be sustained as He carries me through them. My perfect day is not orchestrated by well meaning friends with limited resources and a company that will use me as an advertisement gimmick in order to make money. The vast and mysterious heavens are the footstool of the author of my story. His power and resources have no end. His motivation is Pure, Holy, and Righteous. All He gives is only for my good and what He chooses to bestow never comes with sorrow or regret. His gifts don’t merely enable me to cope and survive until my circumstances change.  His gifts transform, renew, and empower my heart, mind, will, and emotions to overcome regardless of my surroundings and circumstances.

Today, my heart cries out “I deserved none of this” and He replies “THIS is my joy.” I am overwhelmed by the grace that has flooded, floods, and has yet to flood into my life. A grace, that if measured, could not be contained. My “perfect day” began long before the first beat of my heart and the labored heaving of my tiny premature lungs.  Chosen before the foundations of the world, I have been wooed, hedged, and shepherded through endless “perfect days.”

This is my life story:

grc

I deserved nothing yet He has given everything!

Will you take a moment to replay and praise Him for your “Perfect day?”

A letter of counsel and concern to Recovering Grace

A Concern and Challenge For “Recovering Grace”

prs

As the firestorm around Bill Gothard and the IBLP erupts, I find I feel many mixed emotions. I wasn’t one of the “victims.” I was not preyed upon or abused by any member of leadership, and while many decisions my family made were misguided and in error, my parents were godly, loving and sensible people. My life was greatly impacted by sincere, godly, loving leaders at ALERT and Excel. I learned and grew much during involvement with ATI. I forged lifelong friendships and memories I will always look back upon with fondness.

As I stepped away from the IBLP ministry, I did so in phases. Ignorance and blindness was eventually replaced by anger and shock. I was not the “perfect Christian” they led me to believe I could become by following prescribed “Biblical” rules and laws. I dressed the part, listened to the right music, courted, avoided things on the “naughty” list, yet I never had true freedom or peace. Not only was I odious to myself, I was odious to the rest of the world.

In just the past 3 years the Lord has begun the process of ripping away the spiritual blindness, calluses, and more importantly the hypocrisy that kept me in a prison of frustration, guilt, fear, and anxiety. After leaving IBLP, the Lord took me through some gut wrenching trials. The problem was, when they came I had no true Biblical truth or foundation to stand upon. Years of rules, and “Prosperity gospel” laden false teaching smothered any attempt to make sense out of what I was going through and why.

Then came GRACE! The realization that I could not add a measure more of God’s love, mercy or power to my life by “works,” rocked my world. Even greater than this was the truth I could not compel Him to withdraw ANY measure of His love and mercy in my life by sin, failures, or weakness. I had it “ALL” already! It wasn’t about me anymore, it was all about HIM.overcome

No more list to check off! No more putrid hypocrisy to paint me white and clean on the outside, when in fact I was struggling and broken inside. I was covered and bathed in the “Amazing Grace” of God. He loved me in spite of who I was or what I had done and this love would never change or waiver.

How liberating it is to be driven in my heart by a passion for Him, because “He loved me first.”

How meaningful time in the word becomes, when a true desire to seek and know Him is the motivation rather than fear that if I don’t the hammer will drop and judgment will come.

The law opens our eyes for a need of a Savior. It revels and bears testimony that man’s heart is truly deceitful and desperately wicked. The law exposes our need for redemption, but there is no power or freedom found in that law. The law condemns! If you stop with the law, your life becomes a knotted and gnarled ball of guilt, pride, shame, arrogance, hopelessness, and frustration.

Then comes Grace! Freedom from chains we forged in an attempt to measure up, add to, and earn His favor.

Love and His grace cover a multitude of sins and brings freedom, but there is more. With eyes opened to the truth of His grace and Mercy, my life is lived out as an act of love to Him. I live each day striving to “be Holy as He is Holy” not in order to earn something, but because I am so overcome by His love for me I want to do everything to please Him and nothing to grieve Him. I desire each day to show Him that within my limited knowledge, I understand what He has done for me, Given me, rescued me from!

rejoice

So as articles fly across the internet and facebook feeds, here is my concern and challenge to Recovering Grace.

Your website “Recovering Grace” advertises a powerful and much needed ministry to thousands of people around the world, including those who have never darkened the doorway of IBLP or ATI. You have shed light on abuses and scandals that have resulted in damage untold and left countless victims reeling, angry, hurting, and questioning the Gospel, salvation, and even God himself.

There was a time I stopped visiting your site because I did not find “Grace” that could help me as I worked through my struggles and questions. Many times, all I found were painful stories and narratives/responses filled with unbelievable pain, anger, hate, and animosity. These accounts left me disgusted, angry, and so frustrated, but very few offered a glimmer of hope, peace and an active and living example of grace that heals.

I am not saying the anger, animosity, frustration is wrong, I am just saying, now that the firestorm has hit and exposure has been accomplished, so much more is needed than stories exposing the ministry, its leaders, and grotesque false teaching.

This site will receive so much traffic by the hurting, abused, seekers, God haters, and those simply curious about the newest religious scandal to hit the news waves.

While all the abused and wounded need to be able to tell their story and begin the process of healing, I encourage those at Recovering Grace to be wise and discerning as they wade through the thousands of e-mails, stories, claims, comments and offerings from those of us negatively and even positively impacted by the IBLP ministry.

Fill your web site with GRACE. Fill it with the amazing stories of healing, recovery, and the truth of God’s word. Let it ooze with hope for those who need it more than anything else in. Let your site be a miraculous testimony of of “Beauty from Ashes.” May what satan intended for evil, be a used for good and a demonstration of God’s grace and strength.

Offer links, books, and other sound resources that can provide Biblical counsel and truth that can enlighten, expose, heal and strengthen.

My prayers go out to all who are hurting and seeking peace, hope, and grace. It is there for you! Don’t give up!

Sincerely,

Jody Biddle-Watkins

A Little Taste of Heaven

Sunday evening I was treated to a small taste of heaven on earth. I sat quietly in handsmy chair surrounded by the family I cherish. We were related by blood, but not the physical liquid that courses through artery and vein. We were bound by something so much more precious, priceless, and powerful than gene and chromosome.

We were a family united and gathered together because we had been adopted into the family of God. We were covered with the precious blood of the Lamb that was Slain. We had been saved by the blood of the Son of God, the Creator of the universe. Our eyes had been opened to the awful reality of sin and the just condemnation we deserved because of it. We had been wooed, pursued, and graciously delivered from an eternal separation from the presence of God and a physical anguish that would never end.

One by one voices called out. Most were simple three or four word phrases, but hidden deep within each syllable was a personal testimony, a unique story. Each tongue that proclaimed the Glory of the Lord, bore witness that there was a God, and that He delighted in intervening in the affairs of man. Perhaps for a brief moment in time the heavens paused, and the galaxies took a breath as man took a turn singing the very song they had been singing since the day their creator flung flung them far  into the expanses of the skies. One by one, voices were raised, declaring the glory of God, giving testimony to His Majestic Holiness.

A brother would call out, sharing a moment of Divine intervention and all sk ldaround the auditorium heads would nod in knowing affirmation. Smiles crept to our mouths because while our experiences might be different, the God he spoke about was excitedly familiar.

“He is slow to anger!” someone announced and immediately my heart leaped within my chest. I wanted stand up and cry out Yes and Amen, I know and have experienced this God!!! “He abounds with mercy!” Oh glory I mouthed silently. I have met the God who has filled my days with mercy!

He pursues us with relentless love quips another. I choke back a sob as I think back to my teen years when I questioned and chided him in a foolish attempt to provoke His wrath” He did not strike me dead like I deserved, instead he patiently hounded me with His grace. He loved me when I walked astray, hedged my path from destruction and wooed me to Himself.

Sunday evening was a treat, a small glimpse of that moment in time when we will meet and see with our eyes, the God we have experienced here on earth. On that day we are told that every knee will bow and every tongue confess the truth, “That Jesus is Lord.”

Revelation 5:13 

And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying,

“To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb
be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!”

dlr

On that day my voice might possibly join with the birds of the air, the trees of the field, and the fish of the sea in proclaiming His glory and might. On that day my heart will leap as never before, when I finally gaze upon the one who drew me out of the pit and set my feet on dry ground. I will see the God who chose me, the Savior who died for me, and the Spirit who sealed me. I will meet the Father who adopted the unlovely and destitute. I will fall before the Son of God who bore my sins on the cross. I will stand, not in abject fear, but delight as the Spirit bears witness that I am indeed a daughter of Christ!

I will not only proclaim he is Holy, Just, Righteous, Loving, faithful, True and Merciful, I will fully know and understand this. I will taste and see in a way I can not fathom that “He is good” and I will cry out “Most blessed am I because he chose to seek and save me!”

Have you joined the heavens in declaring the goodness of God? Is your life a living testimony of a faith rooted and grounded in the reality that the very God of the Universe delights in you? Do the rocks around you groan to declare what you have failed to proclaim. Do you exude the hope and exuberance of a prisoner set free? Will you join me today, raise your voice, and delight in a little taste of heaven on earth?

Photo Credits: Hands at  http://juganue.deviantart.com/art/together-holding-hands-153965261

And the winner is…….

Congratulations to Tabitha and Our Crowded Heart. You have won a copy of

“Give the Grace: Dazzling your kids with the Love of Jesus.”

Thank you to all who stopped by “Give them Grace” and entered the drawing! If you did not win, please don’t let that stop you from reading this life changing book! If you are having a hard time getting a copy please drop me a line and I will help you out!

Blessing, Jody

Give them Grace!

Give Them Grace: Dazzle Your Kids 

with the Love of Jesus

Sarah Markley over at The Best Days of My Life posted a wonderful story about how we are called to respond to our children For the Times We Don’t Have Any Idea What We Are Doing.  If you are a parent, this is a must read blog.

From her story and insight I would swear she was a fly on my wall just last week. I have a wonderful daughter who is approaching the teen years, and as emotions and hormones clash with immaturity, the resulting product has been some rather significant altercations between the two of us. Last week, I called my husband in desperation, frustration, and fear and exclaimed “I don’t know what else to do with her.”

The very questions I was asking last week, Sarah addressed in her blog. As parents, how do we deal with a child who still sees life “darkly” and through the veil of inexperience and immaturity? How do we get them to make wise decisions, weighing the consequences of their choices versus the effect it will have in their life long-term? I appreciated Sarah’s challenge to respond in the following way  “When we don’t know what to do, forgive. When we don’t know how to move forward, love. When we don’t know how to fix it, seek to reconcile and redeem.”

The Lord is amazing and He also led me to a book titled Give Them Grace: Dazzling your kids with the love of Jesus. This book was recommended to me by over half a dozen godly, veteran parents. My book arrived yesterday, and I dung into it today and my spirit was encouraged. I was blown away by the wisdom and truth found in just the “foreword.”

Here are just a few nuggets from the beginning of the book:

“It may come as a surprise to you, but God wants much more for your children (obedient life, polite, no vulgar language, no addiction to porn, good job, great marriage, not caught up in really bad stuff) and you should too. God wants them to get the gospel. And this means that parents are responsible to teach them about the drastic, uncontrollable nature of amazing grace.”

“The irony of gospel-based sanctification is that those who end up obeying more are those who increasingly realize that their standing with God is not based on their obedience but in Christ’s.

“The law of God shows us what God commands, which of course, is good but the law of God does not posses the power to enable us to do what it says….the law guides but it does not give. The law shows us what a sanctified life looks like but it does not have sanctifying power…The power to obey, in other words, comes from being moved and motivated by the completed work of Jesus. So while the law directs, only the gospel can drive us.

If that wasn’t a bucket load of truth to feast on, I don’t know what is!!! In a world where 60%-88% of young adults are walking away from the church, and God, the call to Dazzle Our Kids With the Love of Jesus isn’t just a quaint suggestion, it is our calling and duty.

I would like to present what I think is one of the most important giveaways I have ever offered. I will be giving away 2 copies of this book. You can receive multiple entries by sharing this blog via any social media outlets you frequent (I have FB, Twitter, Digg, and a few others listed below) and by visiting Sarah’s blog and reading her sage advice on this topic. Just return once and in the comment field let me know what ways you shared.

As a parent, my children’s lives and spiritual health are a great burden to me. I would lay down my life for them if I could, but “no man can give a ransom for the life of another, for it is precious in the sight of God” and His alone to save. We would jump in front to take a bullet in the chest to save their lives, but so often neglect the gritty, day-in-and-day-out duties and sacrifices needed to protect them from the spiritual bullets satan is hurling at them. Often it is because we are lazy, selfish, or spiritually not where we should be either. Would you join me and  take up the challenge to “Dazzle your kids?”

Drawing will be held Friday, July 13th, so stay tuned

My prayer for you: Taste and See

My Prayer for you: That you might see

Psalm 34:8

In scripture we find numerous paradox’s. We are admonished to “see the unseen” and we strive to do so because we know that one day the physical realm we live in will pass away.  The paradox of living for the unseen and eternal versus the physical and temporal is a hard concept to grasp and implement in our lives, but it is a discipline we endeavor to master because it has significant and eternal ramifications.

With this in mind, this verse has always intrigued me. John 4:24 states that God is a spirit and therefore must be worshiped in spirit and truth but in Psalm 34, David encourages us to taste and experience that God, a Spirit,  is good.  Our relationship with Christ affords the amazing opportunity to meld the spiritual with the physical.

God the Father sent His Spirit to dwell in the souls of redeemed man and because the Spirit of the Living God dwells within me, I can abide and walk in the spirit. It is truly amazing to be able to experience “The Truth” dividing asunder the cords that once imprisoned me, and to see His Spirit at work in my life.

My prayer today has been that together,we would walk in the power of the Spirit. My prayer is that as a couple, unified by the Spirit, we would experience and taste the very real and present goodness of God as He works in our lives to draw us to Himself.

My Prayer for you: Might

Might

Ephesians 3:14-21

14 For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15 Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, 16 That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;  That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,18 May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,21 Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.

Walk into a gym and though you might find chiseled bodies with rippling abs, and cardiovascular wonders able to gazelle across miles of treadmill rubber without breaking a sweat, these room are filled with feeble, vulnerable individuals.

We live in a world that is “physically sidetracked.” I am just as guilty and plagued by this ailment. My mommy belly and ba-daunk-a-dunk-butt glare at me like a bright lit neon sign every time I pass in front of a mirror. It is so easy to get sidetracked by the physical because we live in the physical realm, but we have been told our mind, heart, and gaze is to be elsewhere, other worldly, straining for glimpses of the unseen, and the eternal. Absolutely everything man has laid his eyes upon will fade away one day. This includes the lawns we fret over, the senseless collections of “things” we gather, and the bodies we labor for.

Today my husband I am praying for Might. Not the kind found in rippling muscles and sturdy legs, though you have these a plenty. Muscular might may assist you during your day, win you awards and even evoke envious glances, but there will be no posturing or flexing contest in Heaven. My prayer for you David is for a Might in the inner man, that sacred place where the mortal and corrupted is invited to fellowship with the Eternal Spirit of the Living and Powerful Holy God. I am praying for might in that center of your being where mind, heart, soul, and spirit engage in the battles that truly matter. The ability to posses a might, power, and strength not measurable in pounds and inches is hard to fathom. The realization that  this kind of might is not only necessary but critical to survival compels me to pray for it for you and to seek it for myself. Walk in His might my husband, a power that is perfected in your weaknesses and His Glory. Walk in His love, letting His joy be your strength. I praise the Lord for the past nine years He has given us. What a joy it has been to watch you grow in the Grace of the Lord. May His blessings rain down upon you, flooding your heart with joy unspeakable! Amen

Five Minute Friday: Expectation

Got 5 minutes? Come and spend them writing <—click to tweet this!

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

OK, are you ready? Please give me your best five minutes on:

::

Expectation…

Psalm 62:5

My soul, wait thou only upon God;

for my expectation is from him.

 

I honestly can’t remember what gave me the impression I would be receiving a horse that Christmas, but I did. I choose to overlook the fact we lived in the city with a small backyard, not on a farm. When I raced down the stairs with my brother and sister that Christmas morning, I just knew my horse would be there, waiting for my loving embrace.

I did get a horse that morning, but not the one I was expecting. It was a foot tall, plastic, and had removable tackle. I named it Spike and made a horse blanket for it to wear out of a footie from my PJ’s. The name I chose and the blanket I made provided endless opportunities for teasing and torment at the hand of my siblings.

I have had a few other moments like this growing up. Grand expectations followed by periods of waiting, and then crushing disappointment. People have disappointed me, and I have disappointed myself, but there is one who has never been a disappointment, never given a gift that fell short. My life is a menagerie of His Faithfulness and perfection, His Deity on grand display. Truly no one can give without fail, exactly what we need, when we need it unless He is standing with one foot in the past and the other in the future.

Some gifts, like my husband, came later than I wanted. Others weren’t even close to the “”Big book of toys catalog” images I mentally circled as my wish list for life. Most of His gifts have been followed by ah-ha moments of revelation and the simple word “WOW!” and like David I say my expectation is in Him.