Myths about Singleness & Loneliness: Part 2

Myth #2: I am Lonely because something is missing from my life.

As a 28 year old single woman, I had a number of vividly painful moments when the world around me seemed to flaunt the relationships and opportunities I yearned for yet had not experienced. Here is a valuable piece of advice, never tell a single woman she should enjoy her freedom and the amazing opportunities she has been given on valentines day, weddings of siblings or close friends, all major holidays, or when 90% of her friends have just left for a special “couples only” party. If you are brave enough to do so, be sure to protect your face and brace yourself for the dreaded “Hairy eyeball.” For years, I dutifully attempted to exploit the benefits of “single awareness day,” and most of the time I did enjoy my freedom but often, after multiple evenings of solitude, my single status pushed my faith to the edge. An entry from my journal describes the battle I engaged in so frequently as a single woman.
8/27/00
“Life is so very interesting & complicated. Each day becomes a painful mirror into the imperfections and weakness of body and spirit…. sometimes I struggle so violently to cross over from knowledge to experience.” 
If you are single, how do you cross over? How do you transform your desires and emotions  so that they line up with what you have learned in scripture and professed to believe? As I walked through life, seeking God’s peace and will for my life, I discovered a bridge that enabled me to cross from knowledge to experience. The key was my understanding of God’s name and nature. By understanding God’s name and nature I mean spending time in his word and in his presence learning to see and understanding how who he is effects how we works and deals with me every day.
If it is impossible for God to lie, then I can cling to anything he tells me about himself in scripture. This brings me to how I overcame the feeling that because I was single I was missing something I needed in order to be content and happy. Psalm 84:11-12was the key.

The Lord God is a sun and a shield

The Lord will give grace and glory

No Good thing will he withhold to them that walk uprightl.

O Lord of Host, Blessed is the man that trusteth thee.

Are you ready to have your faith supercharged? These verses will do just that, because they present an intimate glimpse into attributes of God’s nature, while revealing a promises we can anchor our desires and dreams upon.  Verse 11b is an integral key to a faith that sustained me as I struggled to accept my present status and calling in life. Verse 11 states that every morning the Lord is present and ready with “every good thing” we needed in order to get through the day. Christ faithfully prepares and pours out upon us, to overflowing, all the strength, encouragement, wisdom, blessings….. that we need for life. Anything truly necessary to navigate through trials & temptations, joys & sorrow, excess & need is at our disposal. Our loving Father is there with all we needed so at the end of the day we can testify to the the world around us,
My Father has withheld nothing!”
As a single woman, some of the emptiness I struggled with was the result of an attempt to peer into the future to see if God’s will lined up with my desires. By doing so, during momentary periods of discontent, I trampled over hills and valleys paved with His Grace, Glory, and Blessings.
As I struggle to be content with my life (yes it is still a struggle today), the Lord still uses these verses to rebuke me with the truth, my emptiness is the result of a self imposed, narrow sighted, earth bound vision and a failure to look at life with spiritual eyes. My prayer has become, “Today Lord,  give me eyes to see, that I might not miss even the smallest blessing that you, in love and Mercy, have prepared for me.” This verse spoke to me as a single woman and it still speaks to me today as a mother of three when my days consists of mounds of laundry, and countless never ending and thankless tasks.
May we never hesitate to come into the presence of  God who formed and knew us intimately before we uttered our first cry, BUT as we place our will at his feet in humble submission, may we never forget he has all ready given His best, His most precious and beloved Son. He will withhold nothing of lesser value. When you have unburdened your hearts do not forget to take up your basket and with faith unmovable, and eyes set to the heavens, recognize, accept, and receive  “every good and perfect gift” prepared for your life. You may be missing a ring, an invitation to a couples party, evenings with company, but you are not missing the key to happiness, peace, and fulfillment.
How full will your basket be tonight when you lay your head upon your pillow? Did you see, accept, and use all he prepared for you today?
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2 comments

  1. Thanks for that reminder! Those verses are still favorites of mine. The Lord has helped me to daily pray the same prayer that you pray: “Today Lord, give me eyes to see, that I might not miss even the smallest blessing that you, in love and Mercy, have prepared for me.” That is the key to keeping our focus where it needs to be – on JESUS!

    Abigail

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