When someone mentions the word “Prodigal,” I instantly recall images of Sunday School flannelgraphs (yes, I just aged myself). These memories include a defiant son standing before his Father, demanding his inheritance. There was the figure of a grieving and broken father gazing at the fading distant outline of his son willingly walking toward ruin, shame, and destruction. The next photo in the series was the shocking depiction of the destitute son, groveling on hands and knees in pig slop.
The In-between….
We know and cling to the end of this story. My favorite image is the Father embracing his prodigal son, offering grace when the son deserved judgment, and providing clothes, jewelry, and a party instead of condemnation and banishment. Yet, there is a piece of this story that is often rushed past or perhaps even overlooked. There weren’t any photos illustrating the most challenging season of life for the Father of the prodigal son. This is a season I refer to as “The In-between.”
While this parable illustrates our relationship with our Heavenly Father, we might find ourselves the parent of a prodigal son or daughter. One day, the story we remember from Sunday school, with a “Happily ever after” ending, might become our never-ending nightmare. We believe that God knows their heart, sees where they are, and is aware of their involvement in sin and rebellion. We know God is rich in mercy, grace, and love. We cling to the promise that there is no heart too hard, cold, or far away to be reached by his voice and presence. But right now, things look pretty bleak, if not hopeless. We are not ignorant of the fact Scripture tells us that our child is an enemy of God and contending against a Heavenly King of holiness, justice, and judgment. While they will always be our flesh and blood child, this is a relationship complicated by the truth, “to be at enmity with God” is to be, in some respect, “at enmity with us” as well. Knowing this can make the days grueling as we navigate through the in-between, a season when our love and patience are put to the test, as is our obedience to Christ (Lk 14:26). This season can produce sleepless nights and anxious days filled with emotions like sorrow, regret, shame, anger, terror, and fear.
Their hearts rest in the hand of God, not our own….
The reality of parenting is that despite how intentionally we parented and how often we took our children to church and VBS, they might question the Spiritual Heritage we have faithfully entrusted to them. At some point, their lives and choices might bring great sorrow into our hearts and homes because they have chosen to reject faith in Jesus Christ and rebel against God.
BUT,
God declares that our hearts are precious to Him and that he alone turns and redeems them. (Psalm 49:7, Proverbs 21:1) No matter how faithfully we are to address sin, discipline Biblically, and vigilantly take advantage of every opportunity to teach our children about God, heaven & hell, right & wrong…….. we might eventually find ourselves looking into the face (or even the fading form) of our very own prodigal child.
The journey of a prodigal often begins within the walls of their home.
Some kids might leave home to pursue the prodigal lifestyle, while others are lured into it. Often, the journey of a prodigal or spiritually struggling child begins within the protection and supervision of our homes. Long before they have the opportunity and resources to pursue the impulses of rebellious and fleshly desire, we might watch in bewilderment as they question the truth and reject the Gospel and the beauty of a redemptive relationship with the Creator and Lord of all. The journey of a prodigal can begin quietly within the hidden recesses of their sinful, fallen hearts as they yield to the impulse to despise boundaries, question restrictions, and chafe at the idea of being told they do not get to decide how to live their life. Added to this are innumerable voices calling out from TV and social media, encouraging them to question everything while pursuing self-gratification and happiness. They are encouraged to listen to their heart, validate their emotions, and reject anything that stifles their creative expression. Over the years, I have heard the words, “I don’t want to be put in a box,” tumble from the defiant lips of my wayward child more than I care to count.
You see,
I am the parent of a prodigal child
Though we live together, eat dinners as a family, celebrate holidays, vacations, and special occasions, and do life together….. with each passing day, I watch my spiritually dead child rebel and run further away from God. No matter how hard I have tried to change things, change her….. I can not extract myself from participating in my own “Prodigal Son” story. Every day, I am forced to watch as a heart grows cold, defiant, rebellious, angry, and resistant to the truth of the Gospel. Our home isn’t a war zone, and there aren’t colossal shouting matches, but the spiritual chasm between us continues to widen as she walks away from faith toward what sometimes feels like a hopeless wasteland of no return.
They are asleep….
The Lord used a wise and Godly woman to encourage, challenge, and bless me as we navigate through this season. She has walked the path I now travel, and her heart also grieved over her own prodigal child. One afternoon, inside the women’s restroom at church, she encouraged me to read/pray through the book (Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter). She also encouraged me with verses that have blessed and radically transformed how I pray for my child. This story is found in Luke, and while this account isn’t about our prodigal children, there is a rich nugget of truth found within the verses:
Luke 8:46, 49-56
Just then, a man named Jairus came. He was a leader of the synagogue. He fell down at Jesus’ feet and pleaded with Him to come to his house because he had an only daughter about 12 years old, and she was at death’s door.
While He was still speaking, someone came from the synagogue leader’s house, saying, “Your daughter is dead. Don’t bother the Teacher anymore.”
When Jesus heard it, He answered him, “Don’t be afraid. Only believe, and she will be made well.” After He came to the house, He let no one enter with Him except Peter, John, James, and the child’s Father and mother. Everyone was crying and mourning for her. But He said, “Stop crying, for she is not dead but asleep.”
They started laughing at Him because they knew she was dead. So He took her by the hand and called out, “Child, get up!” Her spirit returned, and she got up at once.
According to all the physical laws of nature, this young girl was dead. There was no sight in her lifeless eyes, and her ears could not hear the sound of her grieving parents. Her lungs were incapable of sucking in life-giving breaths of air. Death had come, and her physical body had begun to decay. A voice chided the girl’s father and suggested he not “bother” Jesus because, in human terms, it was too late. But Jesus told the desperate Father two things:
Don’t be filled with fear
AND
Only believe
BECAUSE
-Life is still possible when the God is present!–
The story continues, and as they approach the house, they find that everyone present is in the process of weeping and mourning because the young girl is dead. A large crowd has likely assembled, and it is possible that hired “mourners” were also in attendance, stoking and maintaining the wails of grief and loss. It is important to note that Jesus separated the parents and his disciples from the mourners, those in the crowd who had given up hope and did not believe Jesus could alter the story’s outcome. In fact, when Jesus told them to stop crying because she was “only sleeping,” Scripture tells us they laughed him to scorn. But Jesus, the Son of God, who knew the will and plan of the Father, walked into the house and, with his disciples and her parents looking on, commanded, “Child, get up.” The Bible tells us Her spirit immediately returned, and she rose from her deathbed.
“She isn’t dead. She is just sleeping.”
“Δεν είναι νεκρή, κοιμάται”
My friend’s testimony of God’s power and faithfulness, while enduring a season of parenting a prodigal brought me to tears and helped to reframe the petitions of my heart and the words I have prayed for my child every day since. Debbie reminded me that as long as there is physical life and breath in the lungs of my precious daughter, there is hope for a spiritual resurrection because, in a sense, she is too is asleep.
And in this grueling season of waiting and wondering, Jesus calls out,
*******Don’t Be Filled With Fear, Only Believe*******
Fear is a thief! It steals joy, peace, and hope. Often, fear compels me to act or respond in desperation with ill-timed words and rash decisions when hearts and heads need to hear and see words and actions rooted in the unshakeable foundation of God’s presence, power, and authority over the physical and spiritual darkness and death my prodigal is a slave to. Fear blinds me to the promises and truth God gives to direct and sustain, shifting my focus instead to the words and actions of my child. Fear shifts my focus from being encouraged by what God has declared he can do, so I am overwhelmed by what my child has or is doing. Fear destroys the foundations of faith. When I am operating out of a place of fear, I can not believe!
My prodigal child is sleeping because of the illness of a sinful heart, and I can’t wake her up. She can’t hear His voice or understand His truth. My daughter can’t see the Kindness and Glory of a Merciful and loving God. His Majesty does not suck the very breath from her lungs, nor does His righteousness drop her to her knees in fear and terror. She can not see his beauty nor be Captured by His love. Her spiritual heart of stone cannot draw itself into a living and redemptive relationship with Him… Many nights, I have crept silently to the end of the hall, positioning myself outside her room like a sentry, my hand pressed upon her door. In that moment and many others, I pray like crazy for my “sleeping” daughter. I pray for a hedge of protection around her physically and spiritually. I pray for quick exposure of sin and a growing unsettledness in her heart. As she strives for peace and joy outside of a relationship with God, I pray that she will find everything she chases after to be bitterly disappointing and unfulfilling. I pray that God’s mercy and grace would flow down on her like rain. But more than anything, I cry out to God, asking that He would awaken the spiritually dead heart of my child. I plead for him to look upon her with mercy and call her out of darkness and into light.
A while back, I snuck down to her room and scrawled the Greek phrase “She is not dead, she is sleeping” above the trim of her door. I will continue to pray for her spiritual resurrection and the day of great awakening when Jesus speaks into her heart and proclaims, “Child, wake up!” Will you join me as I pray for my child? I will join you as you petition the Lord of Mercy for your child’s spiritual resurrection!